Symptoms: Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Cognitive impairment, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Severe anxiety/panic, GI disturbances
After escaping an abusive long-term marriage, I went to teach in Abu Dhabi. By this time I had been taking 40 mg Paxil/day, rather than my GP guiding me toward talk therapy. The medications mounted. I have been on psychiatrically prescribed: 40 mg benzodiazepine for 20 years, 40 mg Cipralex for 20 years, 300 mg trazodone for 20 years, 10 mg Seroquel for 1 year.
About six months ago, I began developing Valium tolerance symptoms (a layman’s term for benzo flu). I went to my psychiatrist, who flippantly prescribed lamotrigine, then disappeared for a month for cataract surgery, leaving me without any support system. The lamotrigine didn’t work. The psychiatrist’s office assistant connected me with a sub-psychiatrist who prescribed pregabalin, beginning at 25 mg/week up to 200 mg/week.
When my psychiatrist returned, I finally took control of the situation and insisted on a pregabalin taper, with a benzo taper to follow. The pregabalin liquid compounded taper was linear/flat, beginning at a 25% reduction. I handled that first taper. As the months passed, I requested lower dosages of pregabalin: 15%, now 10%, which I have been on for one week. After learning about dynamic/hyperbolic tapering, I requested my prescription be changed to reflect individualized tapering at smaller increments. Excuses: What is a dynamic taper? We don’t have syringes to measure such small amounts. And a steadfast loyalty to my psychiatrist. I had been seeking 20 resources to change my tapering regimen, but all returned me to my psychiatrist, creating a negative loop.
Presently I have secured a nearby pharmacist who understands the difference between the two tapering methods. I am contacting an additional resource, Mayfield Clinic, on Monday. They provide psychiatric assistance. I have learned not to use terms like linear/flat, hyperbolic/dynamic, as it turns nurses/secretaries off. I have a script to read and a sample of what my tapering will look like.
Throughout this process, I have helped raise grandchildren, taught in Abu Dhabi, received 3 AFA art acquisitions, and HeRMIS Canadian artist recognition. Now I am writing poetry. Thank you for clarifying your tumultuous situation. As you speak about family ordeals, you are empowering others to take control of their health. If Mayfield Clinic is not receptive, I will keep fighting, although I am incapacitated for most of the day. Take care, sending best wishes, Fran