Symptoms: Akathisia, Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Sexual dysfunction, Insomnia, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Severe anxiety/panic, Anhedonia
Given Venlafaxine (SSNRI) at age 14 for depression and anxiety, no one ever told me how near impossible it would be for me to come off of the medication. I felt it helped at first. However, after being at 400 mg during the height of my depression and basically a walking zombie, I spent the majority of a decade on the lowest dose (37.5 mg). Any time a doctor saw my dose, they would say “oh, you may as well not even be on it, it won’t be doing anything at that dose.” And I would explain the only reason I’m still on it is because of the withdrawal symptoms. None of them tried to help.
Symptoms: only a few hours after a missed dose (of 37.5 mg), extreme fatigue, vomiting, nausea, brain zaps, crying, headaches, sweating, emotionally unstable.
I even ended up in the emergency room one time begging for a script for my medication (free in New Zealand) because I had run out and couldn’t function, this physically ill.
I finally found a good doctor who helped me taper down. This took nearly 1 year, taking 3 tiny beads out per week. There were about 120 beads in each capsule. Any more than this would cause full-blown symptoms and incapacity to function and work. Still, I had to bridge over onto fluoxetine (SSRI) and diazepam to completely come off of the SSNRI. Fluoxetine caused severe akathisia. However, it was much easier to stop than the SSNRI.
Once all of these symptoms quietened I felt FREE. I felt more me than I ever had. However, due to experiencing severe PPD 5 years later when I had my first child, I was placed back on an SSRI (escitalopram) and assured it would be easier to come off of than my previous SSNRI.
4 years later I am still stuck on this SSRI as there is no right time to wean down, even slowly. I’m talking going from 1x 10 mg pill down to 3/4 of that same pill and staying there for months. Even this causes severe debilitating symptoms which are too much to deal with while trying to be the best parent possible and studying full-time Psychology.
So here we are, back stuck on a psych med with seemingly no way off of it without experiencing hellish symptoms, and for unknown amounts of time. No doctors seem to grasp the seriousness of the issue. And we are handed these pills with no warning about just how dangerous they can be.
As a studying psych student, these medications are in our theory. And I cringe every time I hear them talked about. I vow to make better and more informed decisions with future patients when it comes to psych meds.