Symptoms: Akathisia, GI disturbances
A little over a year ago, I went through one of the most painful and confusing experiences of my life.
It started after I took Alka-Seltzer at night without eating and, looking back, I also do not think I mixed the aspirin well enough. Soon after that, I developed severe digestive issues that became frightening enough for me to go to the Emergency Department multiple times.
At the Emergency Department, I was told that I had experienced a panic attack and was prescribed hydroxyzine. After taking it for the first time, I noticed something the next day that was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I developed an extreme, almost unbearable restlessness. For hours, I felt like I absolutely had to move. Sitting still caused this intense internal discomfort that is very hard to describe. It was not ordinary anxiety. It felt like my body was forcing me to pace.
I stopped taking hydroxyzine about two months later. Then, for the first time in a while, that same feeling came back. This time, it lasted around two months.
During that period, I would pace back and forth for hours a day. Some days were more manageable, but other days were so severe that I genuinely did not want to live. The restlessness was unbelievably extreme, and at the time I had no idea what was happening to me.
After around three months, the worst of it started to fade. But even after the extreme restlessness improved, I was left with a constant pressure or discomfort throughout my body. That is the only way I can describe it: a persistent internal pressure that lasted for over a year. It slowly improved over time, but it was still deeply uncomfortable and distressing for that entire period.
Even now, if I sit idle for too long, I sometimes feel a smaller version of that discomfort return. I have also noticed that migraines on the left side of my head have increased significantly since then.
I still do not know exactly what caused everything. It may have been a neurological reaction triggered by the severe gastrointestinal issues, the digestive medication I was taking, hydroxyzine, or some combination of all of it. I cannot say for sure. What I do know is that something happened during that period that led to the most excruciating year of my life. I truly cannot imagine anything coming close to that level of suffering.
What has helped me get at least 95% better has been sound therapy, especially the work of Karen Newell and Alexandre Tannous. I know everyone's situation is different, and I am not presenting this as medical advice, but I would strongly encourage anyone struggling with similar symptoms to look into it and keep searching for what helps them.
This experience changed the way I understand suffering. It taught me how intense internal discomfort can become, how hard it can be to explain symptoms that other people cannot see, and how important it is to keep advocating for yourself when you know something is deeply wrong in your body.