I don't know

I take a lot. For seizures, PTSD, panic attacks, hand shakes, heart rate, insomnia, ADHD, GI (hiatal hernia), anxiety/social, TBI, expressive aphasia from TBI's (last one was a triple brain bleed: SAH, SDH and a vitreous hemorrhage). Broca bleed.

I had the 1980's childhood regimen except Prozac. Then after the US Army, gabapentin for nerve pain. Then a seizure mid fire service. Firefighter/EMT. Also I had some TBI's as a child, 7 yrs old. Seizure in the resident fire service program which then caused a vehicle accident. I was cleared to go back into the fire service after 1.5 yrs. Then enrolled into an AAS fire rescue college program. I had another seizure standing. These were grand mal with no warning.

Then got dropped again from the fire service. I stayed as a volunteer. Then left from having stress issues. My hands started shaking. Anxiety. Whiskey took that away. I quit the fire service after a break from it. I was then taking Keppra and Lamotrigine by then. Then drank. Then started marijuana for a trial in seizure treatment. After about two years I had started driving again. Then had another seizure while driving. Both driving accidents on the interstate. Including that previous one in this count.

Then a transition from Keppra to Pregabalin. Then I had another grand mal while standing. I wasn't drinking by the way. I had quit by then. These were not booze based seizures or drug withdrawal. My cousin said I fell stiff like a tree and fell down and cracked my head on the concrete/asphalt hardcore. Then I started seizing pretty bad. I kept smacking my head really bad on the concrete/asphalt. My cousin held my head quickly so I would stop hitting so hard. I went into status epilepticus. It took IV benzos to stop it. I was about 7 mins maybe more.

I haven't been the same. It hit the back left of my skull, affected both frontal lobes. The kinetic energy went through the back right of my skull behind my ear, went through the midline of my brain and shifted it left where it caused another bleed in the Broca area, and left eyeball retinal wall burst causing blindness.

Now I take Pregabalin, Lamotrigine. I was taking sertraline but now just started fluvoxamine about almost 2 weeks ago. I was taking Zoloft for a few years. The sweating became annoying so I quit taking it. Oops. I now also take propranolol and trazodone, and also Adderall for ADHD. The Adderall also helps keep me awake from the other meds while also thinking more clearly. It does actually help. The propranolol was being taken before Adderall because of the hand shakes, body shakes and panic attacks. Bad ones. I was drinking to stop the panic attacks. The shakes and attacks happened before drinking.

I think there is more but not sure. I now don't drink, use nicotine nor THC or CBD. No smoking. I am a Christian and believer in CHRIST. Non-denom. I hope this was short enough.

I just seen your video on YouTube. I do suffer from these things you speak of. Internal, amplified anxiety. Like people have tingling crazy pain. Mine is amplified psychologically hell. The TBI was the worst hell I can ever explain. Worst. Terrible. I am still foggy with dead brain tissue riddled everywhere. Mental hell. My prison is my own. It's not to keep something in, but people out.

I am married, I now just had a baby girl. She is 10 months old. The only reason I want to now live. I have wanted to die, I begged GOD for years and now I want to live. How long I can, I don't actually know.