Symptoms: Emotional blunting, Cognitive impairment, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation
When I was 16yo I was put on Accutane for acne as it was not clearing up. I remember a switch in my behavior and personality and it has been a lot of confusion from that point as I started to become neurotic and insecure, and I had never been that way.
For me there was lots going on in my young life. I was in high school, sports, girls, friends, work, and faith. I was finding who I was and I had a big let down in my life, and I decided to use drugs and alcohol, and for the next 11 years I evolved into a heroin addict. The OxyContin boom was happening and pills were everywhere. I tried to serve a 2 year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and got sent home early after serving 14 months, and the shame and failure from my behavior was too much for me to handle, and drugs were there to ease my pain.
I got clean and sober from mind altering substances in July 2008 and did not reintroduce medication around the time of COVID. I have tried many different diets, and medications, and have found that a low dose of Adderall (no more than 15mg, as I went to 20mg and depression skyrocketed) helps me maintain depression and reduce. I am not suicidal any longer.
I have wondered for years what it may be called and now that the Petersons are talking, specifically Mikhaila, I am so grateful and feel like I have some validation as I have known since getting sober in 2008 that my Accutane/acne journey has had something to do with my difficulties, and always feeling like it was a moral issue. I knew in my gut that something happened, and thanks to my belief in a God, He has been able to slowly help me find information to work through it.
I am grateful for my life today. I am a husband, father of two, I am a mental health counselor, and I have a good relationship with myself. I would not usually take the time to write like this, but under the circumstances there is no coincidence that this information is here, and there has been a pull toward the Peterson family as I know they are authentic individuals trying to do the right stuff. It is very clear to me that their behavior lines up with what they are saying they are doing, and that is what I need in this world, is to find more truth seekers and for me to be honest and open. Thanks for all you do.