Symptoms: Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Cognitive impairment, Insomnia, Depersonalization/Derealization, Severe anxiety/panic
I started SSRI (Paroxetine) at 16 years old. I slowly developed OCD at 15, but by 16 it was severe. I would turn the lights or taps on and off 3x then look at the light and tap and count to 3 to ensure they were off. I did the same with the door, lock and unlock the door 3x, then turn the doorknob 3x to make sure it's locked.
I would wash my hands constantly to the point that I saturated the bathroom floor. One day I saturated the bathroom floor, slipped and fell, I tried to catch myself, I caught a sharp end of the bath and cut my hand open. I went to the hospital, explained the situation, that day I was put on SSRI. The drug helped me deal with the irrational thoughts, but over time I had emotional numbness, I didn't care, I wasn't indulging in my OCD.
10 years later I experienced my first seizure. I have no head trauma or anything like that. I remember hearing banging in my head, then I went blind. When my vision came back all I could see was a kaleidoscope of colours moving to the left side along with my eyes moving to the left side. I kept fighting to keep my eyes centered. The banging in my head was getting faster and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest at the same pace of the banging. Like I said, I kept trying to keep my eyes centered, but after 2 mins of fighting it my eyes were hurting and feeling strained. I gave up. The next thing I remember, I woke up in the back of the ambulance. The only way I can explain what happened to me from giving up keeping my eyes centered and waking up at the back of the ambulance is what my family told me what happened.
My family called the ambulance when I lost consciousness. My entire body was shaking and contorting. When the ambulance came, the paramedic rubbed my sternum which made me gasp for air, apparently I came out of it, but I still was me, I was conscious. Something else took over. Apparently I pushed the paramedic, my dad and my brother. My brother said I had a terrified look on my face, my face was twitching along with my hands. My brother said when I looked at him it was like I was looking right through him. He said I was grunting and making noises but I wasn't making sense. Apparently the paramedics convinced me to go in the back of the ambulance, I followed them, then I fell asleep, my brother came along. When I woke up, my brother said I was back to myself but asking the same questions over and over again.
At the hospital when I was more alert I was asked if I've taken any drugs. I've never done drugs and don't drink. They did a full blood test and found I was clean. Then the discussion changed to experiencing a seizure. The hospital said "everyone can experience at least one seizure in their life," I was sent home, nothing else done. I'm poor, I only rely on the Australian public healthcare system.
Two weeks later I had another seizure, had the same experience, banging in my head, kaleidoscope of colours, my eyes moving to the left. I was more anxious this time. I tried to fight to keep my eyes centered again, but my eyes were hurting and straining, I gave up, then I fell into a seizure, and everything that happened after happened again. This time at the hospital I had an MRI or CT, I can't remember, they couldn't find anything, but I was prescribed Levetiracetam which I've been on since. I've had other tests, sleep tests, EEGs, they can't find a reason I experience seizures.
After every seizure, 24 hrs later my whole body hurts. For the next 3 days my emotions are heightened (which my emotions are usually numb, but my seizures seem to wake my emotions up for a few days). I feel like I'm dissociating, like I'm on the outside looking in, everything around me feels off, my family look like themselves but my brain says they aren't my family. It takes 3 or 4 days for everything to feel normal again.
I was still experiencing seizures. Last year in September was my worst experience. I fell faster in my seizure. When I woke up I forgot about those pre-seizure experiences until my dad said "why do you have blood all over your face," my brain clicked and I remembered I had a seizure. I ran into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and had a panic attack. When I came in my room, between my bed and my bedside table there was a pool of blood. I cut my head open on my bedside table.
I'm a mum of a 3-year-old, he was 2 1/2 at the time. I don't want my son witnessing my seizures, especially the aftermath when something else takes me over and I'm not myself.
After looking and researching how to stop my seizures, I found Keto. I've been on Keto since 29 December 2025. Keto made me feel better. On the 9th March 2026 I decided to come off SSRI drug after 19 years of being on the drug. I've experienced insomnia and the flood of emotions that have been numbed for years.
So far since going keto I haven't experienced a seizure.
Again, I don't know why at the age of 26 I started getting seizures. I have no head traumas, never been in an accident.