Symptoms: Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Depersonalization/Derealization, Tinnitus, Neuropathy, Severe anxiety/panic, Muscle/joint pain, Anhedonia, Plummeting self esteem, Intrusive thoughts, Terror, Heart palpitations, Adrenaline surges
I was prescribed sertraline at 25 years old to treat what I'd now consider mild anxiety, which I'd had since childhood. No plan was ever made for me to come off that medication, not even during three pregnancies. I remained on it for seventeen years, until I'd decided I'd had enough of the increased anxiety I'd been experiencing.
I was advised to come off basically according to medical guidelines, with zero information on what to expect. For 10 months after my last dose, I slowly unraveled until I thought I was having a mental breakdown.
I spent the next four months battling terror, rage, nearly 24/7 anxiety, intrusive thoughts, existential dread, anhedonia, body aches, tinnitus, no appetite, plummeting self esteem, heart palpitations, adrenaline surges, and more. It took another 10 months for me to get to a place where I finally feel decent.
I'm a stay at home mom of three with absolutely no village, besides my husband, and this was the most terrifying experience of my life. And for my children to have witnessed it, my heart breaks. I can't explain how difficult it is to be the one your child comes to for safety, when you yourself feel like you need a lap to crawl into for safety. Heartbreaking place to be.