Symptoms: Akathisia, Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Cognitive impairment, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Tinnitus, Neuropathy, Severe anxiety/panic, Muscle/joint pain, Anhedonia, Dyskinesia
This story started in 2016 while working full time hours on call and starting up and operating a business full time on call. I really have no other explanation other than something snapped or broke in my brain. Everything stopped.
I was experiencing suicidal ideation. It took over and after a few months became concerned enough that I saw my doctor. At that point I was removed from work for 6 months. Prescribed antidepressants and anxiety medications. Through the years since I have asked for more help, psychiatrists, psychologists, and counseling. I've been diagnosed with a number of mood disorders to bipolar. And medicated all at the same time for multiple disorders.
At one point with my wife and in-laws seeing and talking to pharmacists, I believed I was presenting signs of serotonin toxicity. Doctors disagreed, but changed my medications and reduced others. At this point I was pretty much blunted to any realization of who I was or purpose or location. Depersonalization/derealization were real for a number of years. With many conversations and reading, I stopped taking most drugs related to these diagnosed issues. Antidepressant was the only thing I stayed on. Which really doesn't appear to have done much in my eyes.
Fast forward to now, April 2026. I have lost so many jobs since getting fired in 2016 when I returned to work. I can't count the job losses anymore. My cognitive functions seem like they're getting further away from me. I'm suffering with headaches (ice pick, brain zaps, and migraines) for the last 5 months. Exertion makes it worse. I have been prescribed 5 different migraine medications without even slight numbing help. I take Advil gel migraine when the pain gets to the point I can't function during the day.
As of 4 weeks ago I'm not taking any medications. Under doctor supervision I was told to stop taking 150mg Wellbutrin overnight. Now I find myself here on this website looking for direction.