Symptoms: Emotional blunting, Sexual dysfunction, Cognitive impairment, Depersonalization/Derealization, Neuropathy, Severe anxiety/panic, Muscle/joint pain, Anhedonia, GI disturbances
I'm a 29 year old female, and since about age 11, I have been taking antidepressants, mainly SSRI but I have tried one or two SNRI, and my whole life the depression went on and on. I've tried almost every drug on the market.
A few years ago, I got genetic testing done and found out I have a genetic abnormality that makes me not able to metabolize most of those medicines properly. The ones I am able to take, I still react badly to.
The absolute worst of all the side effects has been the lasting issue of sexual dysfunction and anhedonia. My anhedonia will come and go, but the SD has been lifelong. Because I started these meds as a child in mid puberty, I have no clue what a normal sexual drive feels like. I have vague memories of having a sex drive in puberty, but once the meds began, it went away and I've never been the same. It's like part of my brain was simply erased. I have no idea if it will ever come back.
I want to cry about it but I'm so emotionally numb that I can't. It's my life mission now to diagnose and treat these issues so I can live my life. PSSD has destroyed my love life as well, and I'm heartbroken.