Sero-Hell

I was injured by psych meds from 2000 to 2014. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, when in reality I probably have autism and ADHD. I'm not the most talkative person, and I go non-verbal from time to time.

I tapered off using the 10% schedule over about 2 years from 2014 to 2015. I didn't know if I was going to make it. It tore my family apart, and I continue to be alienated from them. I tapered off on my own without support because I felt like I was dying. They kept telling me I had to get a job, but the meds made getting out of bed difficult. I started reading Wikipedia about neuropsychopharmacology and the history of psychiatry. Then I branched out into books and online forums.

Over the course of my research, I became severely disillusioned with psychiatry. I came to the conclusion that it's a pseudoscience. I wrote a philosophical critique. Looking back, that probably wasn't the best position to lead with.

I have tried to tell my story for years, but it is hard. The pushback is incredible, and it's intensely stressful to talk about. What Mikhaila and Dr. Peterson and their family are doing takes incredible strength, courage, and resolve.

I had thyroid cancer in 2019. I was also dealing with grief from my father passing at the time. I delayed surgery because by that time I'd lost all faith in medicine, seeing it purely as a profit-driven scam at its most benign. It is very hard not to ascribe the term "evil" to the effects and practices of psychiatry.

The cancer spread to my right lymph node before I finally got the surgery. I try to be grateful that I'm alive. After the surgery, I developed severe migraines. I was put on amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant, to treat the migraines. I was very confused mentally, but I wasn't depressed. The amitriptyline caused severe depression.

I eventually became suicidal and lost it. Without understanding what I was doing, I killed a blog following I spent years building and was about to be successful.

The akathisia came back after the surgery. I thought it was panic at first, but yeah that was panic on a whole other level. Then when I went into hyperthyroidism, it was even worse.

After watching Mikhaila's video, I'm thinking the symptoms came back as a result of the amitriptyline. It would explain a lot, and also why things are getting better now that I'm avoiding triggers and accepting the damage and trying to be happy.

It's a miracle I'm alive and I try to be grateful because I know it could be a lot worse. My heart goes out to Dr. Peterson and his family and everyone else affected in such a negative way.

I've been trying to figure out how to talk about it for years and have written a book, but it periodically has impaired my ability to focus and recall words. I'm very sensitive to sound and stress still, and I have trouble with sleep.

Cannabis and kratom helped me. I think I would have offed myself if not for them. Qi gong, meditation, prayer and art therapy also help.

I derealize and depersonalize constantly due to the sensitivities being so extreme. I have memory issues and forget the whole thing sometimes, and I wonder if I'm a bad person. The Petersons help me to realize, no, I'm just a person who has been negatively impacted by medication in a way that is being aggressively hidden from the public.

It's so difficult to talk about this stuff because of the anger and grief and injustice to us all and the invisibility of it. Thank you, Mikhaila, for helping make it visible and sharing the struggles.

I go in and out of denial about it. The only good thing about the experience of being on and withdrawing from psych drugs is the deepening of faith and appreciation for beauty and the life in everyone. But I am getting better, or at least managing symptoms better, and I hope to finish my book one day.

Psychiatry is torture for profit.

Thank you for letting me share.