Symptoms: Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Sexual dysfunction, Cognitive impairment, Insomnia, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Tinnitus, Neuropathy, Severe anxiety/panic, Muscle/joint pain, Anhedonia, GI disturbances, Food/supplement/drug hypersensitivity
I began taking an SSRI in college because I was going through a hard period in my life at the time. I was out of state, didn't get to come home in the summer, had very few friends, and my dog had passed away. I was dealing with some anxiety and depression, which considering the circumstances was pretty normal.
My parents were worried and told me I had a chemical imbalance of serotonin. So they brought me to our primary care doctor and I was prescribed Lexapro. I was told it could cause minor sexual dysfunction but that it was rare.
It worked well the first few months. I noticed I had no anxiety and my depression had lifted.
After 6-12 months, my anxiety and depression returned so my doctor increased my dose.
I stayed on this dose for about 5 more years. Eventually, I built tolerance during this time and my anxiety and depression were back. Additionally, I developed side effects from the medication like emotional blunting, weight gain, and sexual dysfunction.
I felt the drug wasn't helping anymore and was causing more harm than good because of the side effects, so I decided to go off cold turkey. I wasn't aware that the brain and body had become dependent on the drug to function.
Shortly after, I developed terrible flu-like symptoms with brain zaps, a fever, runny nose, and vomiting which lasted a few days. Once passed, I was feeling great. My emotions came back and my sexual function improved.
Over the next few months, things took a turn for the worst. I developed extreme nerve pain in my head, fatigue, anhedonia, sensitivities to food, supplements, and drugs, cognitive dysfunction, extreme panic/anxiety, GI problems, and two autoimmune diseases: Ulcerative Colitis and Hashimoto's thyroiditis.
It's been 3.5 years since I last took an SSRI and my health has been worse than ever. I still have nerve pain all throughout my body, cognitive dysfunction, emotional instability, and extreme sensitivities to food, supplements, and medicine.
It's been pure torture trying to manage my autoimmune disease while dealing with withdrawal. The medicine I have to take to keep my UC in remission causes burning in my nerves, extreme headaches, anxiety, and extreme brain dysfunction.
I wasn't informed of dependency and tapering. I would have never taken these drugs had I known I would end up with a neurological injury. My issues prior to taking an SSRI were nothing compared to the damage they caused. It's been the most barbaric torture I could imagine that goes on for years and sometimes forever. It's truly like being stuck in your worst nightmare just waiting to wake up.