Symptoms: Akathisia, Brain zaps, Emotional blunting, Cognitive impairment, Insomnia, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Tinnitus, Neuropathy, Severe anxiety/panic, Anhedonia, GI disturbances, Involuntary muscle twitches, Visual impairment, Irregular blood pressure and heart rate, Breathing disturbances
I was prescribed Venlafaxine as a teenager and ended up on a dose of 225mg for over 15 years.
I experienced a lot of emotional turbulence as a teenager, so I can understand how I ended up with an antidepressant prescription, and in the short term I do think it helped me. However, at the very least my treatment was mismanaged. Not one psychiatrist gave pause to putting a 15 year old on such a high dose, nor did they give any consideration to whether or not it was a good idea to keep prescribing it as chronic prescription for the next 15 or so years of my life. I was told I needed to keep taking it and I never questioned it. I trusted the doctors.
When I decided I wanted to have a family, I found out that the medication was not safe for pregnancy so I needed to come off. At this point in my life I was stable and functioning fine, and I honestly don't think the meds were actually having a therapeutic effect because I had been on the same dose for over 10 years. The psychiatrist agreed that I seemed fine and probably didn't need the meds, and advised me to taper over a period of 6 weeks and explicitly told me not to research withdrawing from antidepressants because of all the "misinformation that would just scare me" - and I listened to her - WORST MISTAKE ever!!!
I toughed out a brutal withdrawal with endless brain zaps for weeks because I thought that I just needed to get through the withdrawal and it would go away. I ended up with terrible nervous system dysfunction that was so debilitating I had to quit my job and became fully dependent on my husband for basic tasks. Not only was I full of terror, panic and mental torment, I had torturous physical symptoms including tremors. It's nothing like anything I ever experienced in my life! I've had so many issues that I never had before, from irregular BP & heart rate, to muscle spasms, chronic tinnitus and visual disturbances, chronic fatigue, numbness, tingling and pins and needles to even unexplained swelling. The akathisia is so hideous, I get these waves of pure terror like I'm about to die and this like automatic reflex need to run for my life out of nowhere. I experienced near constant panic attacks so bad I went to the ER more than once certain I was having a heart attack. My body was under so much stress my menstrual cycle disappeared for 3 months, which was terrifying seeing as the whole reason I did this was so I could have kids.
I need to reiterate I never ever experienced any of these things before! Yet I was still told it was relapse of my original condition by doctors who never even assessed my original condition at 15 (so how could they possibly determine that anyway?!).
I've been to multiple specialists and Dr's which has not only been expensive but less than unhelpful. At best they are ignorant about this topic and sometimes are even condescending and blame you. The only solution they can come up with is to put me back on SNRIs or SSRIs, but after knowing how bad the drugs hurt me, I was honestly petrified to take them - that's the only reason I have stayed off them, fear of going through the worst of it all over again.
It's been about a year off of them for me and although I'm still struggling, I am absolutely improving very slowly and am semi-functional again.
Thank goodness for my husband who has nursed me through this and supported me. It's not OK that this has been ignored and so many people have been hurt and then turned away and gaslit by the healthcare system that was supposed to help us.