Symptoms: Akathisia, Emotional blunting, Sexual dysfunction, Cognitive impairment, Insomnia, Depersonalization/Derealization, Suicidal ideation, Anhedonia
I had long COVID and was completely bedridden. I wasn't sleeping. I had minor mental illness before this mind you: anxiety, ADHD, and some depression. My parents didn't know what to do with me and gave me a week to improve. They talked to my psychiatrist and he polydrugged me. Cymbalta, Topamax, buspirone, montelukast, and Zyprexa. Something changed in my brain and I was able to get out of bed again and be around people.
Eventually I got off all drugs except the Zyprexa (because any time I cut the dose I wouldn't be able to sleep). For about a year it helped me do a lot. But I was still unable to work and had little motivation. This was in 2022. Finally in 2024 I realized how insanely toxic this drug was to my brain. So I tried reducing the dose gradually over time. I did it too fast and ended up kindling. I got down to 2.5 and was completely anhedonic and could barely read. I was crying all the time because I was suffering withdrawal. I was suicidal and ended up in the psych ward.
I didn't take it for three days and ended up with akathisia and insomnia, and I couldn't even think. They kept changing my dose in the psych ward so I ended up even worse getting out. Eventually I decided to reinstate back to 5 mg. Now I am stuck. I am completely anhedonic and have a learning disability and can't focus or remember anything. I have to read the same thing over and over. I have substance blockage (can't even feel caffeine or alcohol). I am hardly functioning and I have no idea how I'm going to get off this evil drug that's ruining my life.
My parents are forcing me to work because I gave up on trying to get disability. I am suffering immensely every day. My judgement is cloudy and I'm pretty sure I have schizophrenia now. I have no idea why this doctor put me on this horrible drug. But I definitely have some sort of brain damage.