Symptoms: Akathisia, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, tinnitus, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, anhedonia, GI disturbances, other
I was prescribed a low dose of Xanax by my nurse practitioner for a situation involving depression. I was then referred to a psychiatrist who increased the dose and diagnosed me with several things. I developed interdose withdrawal but didn't understand what was happening to me at the time, so the dosage of the Xanax was increased to 3 mg. I became suicidal, and so my family convinced me to go off the medication.
My psychiatrist decided that a good and adequate taper would be Librium 25 mg for one week, to gradually decrease over that one week. Subsequently, within two days of ending that week-long Librium taper, I developed akathisia and was in such despair that my family had to take me to the emergency room. In the emergency room, the physician and the staff treated me as though I was drug-seeking, and I was administered Haldol and Benadryl, which were contraindicated in my situation. I guess they had no idea what akathisia was. I was put in a room with a guard outside my door in complete agony and terror.
I was admitted to a psychiatric unit from the ER where I was labeled with several diagnoses, polydrugged, and the akathisia was denied. They did not help the situation, but I was still alive. My psychiatrist continued to gaslight me and disbelieve me, and I was left to survive at home and to educate myself.
I am currently almost 23 months out since this happened and have educated myself greatly and somehow survived so far with a water taper. A very slow water taper. I was converted from Xanax 3 mg to taper with 30 mg of Valium, and after 22 months or so I am down to 15.45 mg. I am very sensitive and very symptomatic when I do the wrong things or have too much stress. My worst symptom by far is acute akathisia, which has lessened in intensity, but I still do get it from time to time. Recently I got akathisia two weeks ago on a Sunday from taking an over-the-counter Pepcid.
I cannot take supplements. I eat organic, non-processed, no caffeine, low histamine foods and only drink water, milk, and decaffeinated coffee. In this journey I have realized that from my early twenties, since the psychiatric medications started on and off, even having ECT treatments at one point, I have been harmed for years and I'm just now putting the story together.
I don't know how my story is going to end. I know that akathisia can and will kill many people, it is that horrible, and I know that the last 22 months have been a hell that is indescribable. It has brought me back to God and my faith. I believe that the pharmaceutical companies and these psychiatric medications are evil, and I believe akathisia is straight from a demonic force. I am still fighting today and I appreciate the chance to tell my story. God bless us all, and prayers for everyone who is suffering from this terrible medication iatrogenic harm. Thank you.