Symptoms: Akathisia, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, insomnia, suicidal ideation, neuropathy, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, GI disturbances
I was prescribed lorazepam for an acute panic episode/crisis at the end of 2023. I was on them for 3 months, then told to stop them as I started taking escitalopram (Lexapro) to manage the anxiety instead. I lost complete control of my body and it felt like I had a clamp on my brain. I lost motor and bowel control and was in bed screaming. I was told it was my anxiety and to keep taking the lorazepam, but every time I stopped, this happened. Luckily a mental health nurse on the crisis team recognized it because her mother had gone through it, and I was put on a tapering regime, but it took longer to come off them and my condition worsened. I was also experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts, which I thought were benzo withdrawals at the time.
I was on the escitalopram for just over a year but spent 6 months of that tapering off because of my benzo experience, even though my GP wanted me to either stay on longer or taper quicker. I took it into my own hands and cut up pills and slowly came off. I had suicidal ideation and an impending sense of doom, like I was going to do something terrible, for about a week after stopping, and I was completely incapacitated, but that eased.
I am doing EMDR for PTSD at the moment, and my anxiety and panic flared, so I decided to try low-dose escitalopram to take the edge off while I was receiving treatment. A week after I started, I felt impending doom and had to go to a psych hospital due to suicidal ideation and thoughts. I told them I thought it was the psych meds, but they told me it wasn't because of the low dose I was on. I put up with it for 6 weeks being watched by family, partner, and friends as my will to live just completely dwindled. My partner said he had never seen me so depressed.
I decided to stop the escitalopram, and within 3 days of weaning off, the fog started to lift. I stopped them a week ago after a 3-week taper, and I no longer feel so intensely depressed and suicidal, but for the last couple of days I've felt so anxious, shaky, and agitated. I was on 2.5mg a day for 6 weeks, then a 3-week taper, and yet here I am still with incredibly uncomfortable withdrawals (nothing like the benzos though, so far). Never again. I really hope I never have to go on them again and I manage to find alternate ways to manage my anxiety, panic, and ADHD.
Thank you for shining a light on this. The amount of GPs and loved ones who have dismissed my experience has been so disheartening. I even lost friends over it who didn't believe me.