Symptoms: Akathisia, brain zaps, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, tinnitus, neuropathy, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, anhedonia, dyskinesia, intrusive thoughts, rage, psychosis
I didn't have postpartum in 2011. I wish. I had some trouble falling asleep quickly after my second birth, and one pill of Zoloft gave me akathisia. From making jokes with my husband and zero depression at 10 PM to impulsively suicidal and in terror at 4 AM after taking the pill. We were not aware at the moment what it was and trusted medical "professionals" who said that the one pill had uncovered postpartum. We believed them for three months where they drugged me with 14 different psych meds, each of which worsened my akathisia. I was diagnosed with dozens of mental illnesses because, well, akathisia is like all of them, actually worse than having all of them at once.
Once you have akathisia, any intervention (including meds, supplements, even food) worsens it. It wasn't until I came across Rebekah Beddoe's story (very similar to mine) that we figured out what had happened to me from the beginning. I then quit all meds cold turkey, which further worsened my akathisia. I found the support groups too late but made lifelong friends there.
It took me five years to get to 95% healed, and I had no windows. It was all imperceptibly slow healing. Surviving every minute of those five years was hell. Years of extreme trauma after that. Saw dozens of doctors. Had a doctor recognized my akathisia, a lot of my suffering would have been spared and I would have healed much faster. It is appalling that most don't to this day. Shame on them. Took me 4.5 years to feel love for my family again. This crime against humanity.
And ten years after healing, I developed akathisia, dystonia, and dyskinesia again, this time from BHRT (estradiol and progesterone) and its withdrawal. It's been seven months and I am so far from myself. This time it's even worse, and I am losing hope. I have over 100 symptoms, but all I want is to love my family again.