Symptoms: Akathisia, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, severe anxiety/panic, anhedonia, facial distortion, lip curl, eye wincing, skin rashes, muscle twitches
I am an 85-year-old caregiver to my son. He is 54 years old and in terrible ongoing trauma (30+ months) and still suffering horrific daily symptoms, the worst being inner akathisia, anhedonia, and insomnia. Suicidal thoughts are daily, his children being the only thing preventing him from acting. How long he can hold off is a constant worry.
In summer of 2023 he decided to cease his SSRIs, taken over many years, because he decided he no longer wanted to take them. No point. He still had his symptoms of anxiety and disliked how they were numbing all his emotions. Escitalopram was his SSRI that he had settled upon because previous meds had done nothing, and even though escitalopram didn't either, he continued because of the extremely unpleasant symptoms he experienced from switching. He had never been made aware of any risks in reducing or ceasing.
For three months he was doing fine. Some of his earlier anxieties were there but had been when taking the medication. He was advised by his doctor how to reduce, and he in fact took twice the length of time suggested. He was fine, and then after about a 3-month period he was devastated by a crash of the worst symptoms he had ever experienced. His doctor reinstated his meds. It did not help. He added another, quetiapine, but he never got any relief. His doctor diagnosed it as his anxiety returning and worsening and does not recognize withdrawal because the drugs are prescribed as "safe and effective."
He knew this was not the case and from his own research discovered that he was actually suffering from withdrawal and that there are many, many others like himself. He started on a long, extremely arduous journey of micro-tapering, as explained by Dr. Horowitz and Dr. Josef de Witt Doering, et al. He has never stabilized ever since he ceased and reinstated. To be denied the true diagnosis is added pain and suffering that causes intense distress. His LTD is always in danger of being ceased because of course he is unwilling to "try" new drugs. How can you trust when you have been so misled by the prescriber's ignorance of the dangers originally and still of the same mindset? He is petrified of damaging his CNS even further. He has lost his savings and is under constant financial stress and faced with selling his home. All this gets in the way of recovery.
As his mother, it is heartbreaking to witness this ongoing daily torture. My presence hopefully gets in the way of him acting upon his suicidal thoughts. I too have been devastated by the outcome of watching my dear son live a life of constant horrific daily existence without any support of medical expertise or advice. His children have lost their father, and he is so troubled by what this has caused to our whole family. He has unwarranted guilt. He has done nothing wrong, only followed medical advice that has proven to be false.
I hope my submittal is accepted because my son is suffering so much I don't know if he is able to respond. I am a victim along with him. We need to be heard.