Symptoms: Insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, severe anxiety/panic
My ex-wife insisted I go see a therapist because she thought I was depressed. It was right after we had our second child, and I think it had a lot to do with her postpartum depression, maybe projecting a minor quirk in my personality that had always been there, but I went for the 12 sessions the insurance company would pay for. The therapist diagnosed me with "social anxiety" and my GP put me on Paxil.
I stayed on it for a few years and to be honest didn't feel much of anything. My marriage fell apart regardless of the medication, so I decided to stop. I wasn't feeling too well, so my physician put me back on the Paxil. This time I stayed on it for about ten years.
Life changes, and the company I was working for changed hands. I worried that the new insurance wouldn't cover the meds, and I was afraid I was going to lose the job anyway, so I went cold turkey. The first couple days were horrible, so I called the doctor and he said to go back on the Paxil. For some reason, continuing made me even sicker. My anxiety was through the roof. I went to work and had my first panic attack of my life. I was so sick, they sent me home, and on the way home I got into a car accident.
I went to a psychologist the next day and he gave me benzodiazepines to go back to work. Big mistake. I went through 90 pills in 5 days that were supposed to last 30. I screwed up so much, there was no way I was going back to work. After laying on the couch all summer, I just couldn't stand it anymore and ended up in the hospital from an OD of pills and alcohol. Since then I've had "visits" to the ER at least 5 times.
These drugs are extremely dangerous and shouldn't be allowed to be prescribed to anyone. I now suffer from Parkinson's disease, and in a weird sort of way it has changed my outlook to appreciate life day by day. Now I feel lucky to be alive. Please stay away from these medications, they can be deadly.