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Forced Medication Destroyed My Life

Age: 36–45  ·  Duration of use: 1–6 months  ·  Current status: No, have stopped
Symptoms: Akathisia, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, tinnitus, neuropathy, severe anxiety/panic, anhedonia, dyskinesia

After a stress-induced panic attack, I was hospitalized and forced to take medication against my will. I was so zoned out and detached from the medication I had no voice to advocate for myself. I could barely form a sentence. I just started pacing and feeling this impending doom, which I now know is akathisia.

I was assured that the side effects would subside once the dose was lessened, but that was a lie. I have chronic akathisia, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, suicidal ideation, and loss of identity. I live in a constant 24/7 state of fear and panic and spend most of my life trying to not want to harm myself.

I was told I will recover, but deep down I know the medication has caused long-term permanent damage to my neurological pathways. Our suffering is silenced from the beginning, and it leaves you so lonely and scared.

Has a prescribed medication affected your life?

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