Symptoms: Brain zaps, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, severe anxiety/panic
I was prescribed Lexapro at the age of 13 to treat anxiety, depression, and OCD. It worked at first, but my anxiety resurfaced over months, demonstrating that the medication was ineffective for me. But the doctors only raised my dosage. By 16 I was on the maximum dosage of Zoloft. I felt numb, stupid, had zero sex drive, and I was extremely underweight because my appetite had disappeared.
About two weeks into tapering off, I began to feel the worst dread, panic, and fear I had ever felt. I also experienced insomnia, constant brain zaps, and eventually suicidal ideation. I couldn’t understand what was wrong. I was more depressed than I had ever felt and went from a straight-A student to someone who couldn’t sit through a single class.
After a month of constant suffering, I made an attempt to take my life. I was hospitalised, and even though it was obvious I was going through SSRI withdrawal, the psychiatrist insisted I could not be released from a tiny room with only a bed and a sink, where they refused to turn the lights out during the night, unless I got on a different SNRI. I took it for enough days to satisfy them and dumped the pills when I got home.
I continued to have less and less severe withdrawal symptoms since then, and with the help of diet and exercise, have mostly recovered.