Symptoms: Akathisia, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, tinnitus, neuropathy, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, anhedonia, visual snow syndrome, and many others
It started with Reglan—a migraine medication. I didn’t even have a migraine. I had extreme nausea from a fake or counterfeit batch of Botox in 2023. I went to the emergency room seeking help, and instead I was given Reglan, trazodone, and Zoloft. I didn’t know my strong reaction to Reglan was called akathisia, and that in an already desensitized nervous system it can block dopamine and alter serotonin. I just thought it was anxiety, but it was beyond intense four hours after I was given the medication.
I was discharged and sent home on trazodone and Zoloft. I could feel my body getting worse, so I discontinued the medication. After that, the panic became so severe—which I now recognize as another neurological injury. My doctor prescribed Ativan to help with the insomnia temporarily, and then I decided to come off of it. Since I didn’t want to be on a benzo long-term, I went to a facility and was tapered in two days, and then came home with extreme anxiety and suicidal ideation.
I was readmitted to the hospital for insomnia and depression, and was given Seroquel, Lexapro, and Depakote. I was on those for a few months and decided to taper because I didn’t want to be on meds. The damage had already been done. My psych tapered me way too fast, and I went into psychosis coming off of an antipsychotic that was prescribed for sleep. It should be illegal what they’ve done to me.
I was then re-admitted and put on another cocktail of meds—fast taper, more damage, more “we can’t help you.” I was given Klonopin to finally sleep for more than two hours, but still to this day it’s never refreshing. I haven’t napped or had a quality night’s sleep in three years. What’s worse is I developed visual snow syndrome because of SSRIs and other serotonergic medications, and it is long-term.
I lost my job, I lost my friends, and my mother had a stroke because of my “mental health.” I was an active, fun, happy person until psych got their hands on me. None—I repeat, none—of those medications were necessary. They are all toxic to the body and brain. I’ve lost everything I’ve worked my whole life for. Everything my parents worked their lives for, lost because of irresponsible, money-hungry “doctors.” I’ll never heal because of the severity of my issues and the amount of medications I was put on.
Visual snow is a long-term condition. I am unable to drive, watch a movie, be in loud places, run around with my children, work, sleep, or just be me. I knew better. The suffering is beyond measurable, and I hope no one ever has to go through this—but unfortunately it’s way too common. Thanks for reading.
Symptoms to this day:
Visual snow, starbursts, halos, double vision, no night vision, afterimages, tracers, full body pain, ringing in ears, insomnia, inability to nap, inner restlessness, extreme fatigue that isn’t resolved after rest, ataxia and balance issues, things looking grainy and pixelated, light sensitivity, noise sensitivity, feeling detached from body, muscle spasms, jaw pain, headaches, feeling fluish all day, overwhelmed by small tasks, problems with patterns or print, colors being too bright, dizziness in public places, tingling in extremities, ghosted vision, neck pain, burning skin, sore throat every day, things moving too fast in visual processing, always cold and temperature intolerance, glare on everything—even on metal spoons in the kitchen—nausea, hearing my heartbeat in the pillow, extreme eye pain, low back pain, sensitivity to chemicals and smells, constant chills, tremors, and feeling like I’m being electrocuted.