Symptoms: Akathisia, brain zaps, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, tinnitus, neuropathy, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, GI disturbances, night shocks, sleep paralysis
I had trialed over 20 psych meds during the 10 years prior to my iatrogenic injury. Initially the psych meds were given to me to deal with fibromyalgia pain and the resulting depression of working a complex full-time job and raising 2 special needs children. After finally realizing that the medications were creating new symptoms of anxiety, akathisia, and dread, I decided to taper off all meds. I stopped Klonopin and Lorazepam. Then in 2018, my psych doctor did a 4 month taper off of my last med, Rexulti.
A week later I started vomiting every day (I lost 30 lbs in 2 months), and I writhed from brain anguish. A month later, I was admitted to a psych ward for severe suicidal ideation. My psych doctor refused to see me, since she said my symptoms were “physical,” and since I was taking no psych medication, there was nothing she could do for me. By the end of 5 months, I had a list of over 100 symptoms—severe, bizarre symptoms that were identified as stemming from a traumatic brain injury by my primary doctor. I was unable to return to work.
For the next 2 years I lived homebound in a constant state of torture, indescribable agony and anguish. I only chose to survive because of the testimonies of others I’d found on the internet and Facebook that said I could heal. Years 3–5 brought signs of healing, and hope that the torture could change. 7 years later in 2026, I finally got granted full SSA Disability retroactive to 2018.
I struggle daily with lingering symptoms that have created a new norm for me. I know more healing is still possible and I never lose hope, but I know I will never be the same person I was before psych meds wrecked my brain.
I prayed to God the day that my symptoms started and I heard a voice inside say, “I put your foot on this path, away from psych meds and into a dark time that will expand your understanding of others’ sufferings.” That is the silver lining that is emerging from this experience—being untethered from psych meds and being a co-member of a group of survivors that have known unspeakable horrors and yet survived, sounding the alarm and spreading the word about the horrible reality of psych meds, and supporting each other with a compassion and grace that is deeper than anything.
Thank you for gathering our stories and amplifying our voices!
Additional symptoms:
1) Night shocks: A seizure-like rip of electrical current through the left side of my chest, neck and head that lasts for exactly 50 seconds and comes with excruciating dread, flushing, nausea, tinnitus, and suicidality. It comes after I fall asleep and wakes me. It is followed immediately by a severe sedation effect that pulls me back to sleep, and the shock repeats again to wake me. This cycle continues unless I sleep using Unisom.
2) Sleep paralysis: After waking from sleep, I find I cannot move or speak but my mind is fully awake. It lasts for 30 minutes to 1 hour, at which time my family has learned to prop me up so I don’t choke on my saliva. I am able to make minimal moaning and twitch my first finger to primitively communicate.