Symptoms: Akathisia
I am writing very quickly, so bear with me as I’m writing between chauffeuring my kids around.
I have always had anxiety with medical ailments. If something hurt I’d think the worst. I stayed on top of yearly well checks, doctor visits, etc.
When I got COVID in Jan 2021, after continuously hearing all of the horrible stories, it led to extreme anxiety. I went to the ER 5 times within a 2 week time period. Each time except 1 they gave me an IV of Ativan or similar, and sent me home with a prescription for more Ativan.
I do not like to take medication and did not want to take these meds, but my anxiety was so bad. In this short period of time I developed akathisia. I didn’t know what that was at the time, so I thought COVID had affected my brain. I immediately started looking for help. I went to a neurologist and had a brain scan, plus a COVID brain specialist looking for a way to fix or understand what I was experiencing. I had to quickly find a psychiatrist, which was the hardest to do—who, by the way, told me I had a mental illness. I tried to reason with them that it didn’t make sense for me to have that, that my symptoms had just existed for the past 2 weeks. Luckily I was smart enough to not be convinced.
My family physician was on target and told me my symptoms sounded like drug withdrawal. I said, after just 2 weeks?!
I still was worried it was caused by the COVID virus and looking for help. I tried just hanging in there for a detox, but relief never came. The akathisia was so horrible—only those who experience it could ever understand the torment it causes. I forced my way into hospital psychiatric care. I was there for 3 days while they helped get my anxiety under control and coping with the acceptance of my new life with what I couldn’t explain I was experiencing. I left needing regular visits with a counselor to deal with this mysterious ailment that I was told was a product of having an anxiety disorder.
After all this, no one ever suggested it was from the benzodiazepines. Only after I saw a video of Dr. Jordan Peterson talking about his akathisia did it make sense. I knew what was plaguing me, and I got better over time. It took way longer than I will ever understand. I was on an SSRI and gabapentin for my anxiety for a number of months as I recovered from the akathisia—which I was never diagnosed with having. Within a year I was off those too.
Dr. Jordan Peterson saved my life! I will forever be grateful for him and all he has done for me and countless others.