Symptoms: Akathisia, brain zaps, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, suicidal ideation, tinnitus, severe anxiety/panic, muscle/joint pain, GI disturbances
From the age of 11 when I suffered my first series of what felt like never ending panic attacks, I was prescribed antidepressants and benzodiazepines instead of thorough psychological treatment. Experiencing never ending dread, shaking/trembling, racing thoughts and and fur problems that would prevent me leaving the house to get to school. As I grew older my symptoms of anxiety evolved and therefore the cocktail of drugs I was prescribed evolved from antidepressants, benzodiazepines, antipsychotics and seizure medications in an attempt to quell my anxiety.
I was never informed about the risks of alcohol and benzodiazepines either and while I already had a health condition that impacted my breathing and could cause me to stop breathing in my sleep, I was drinking like most teenagers often try at the end of high school into my early 20s and not once told I was gambling my life every time. Fast forwards to 2023 and I’m 22 and being cold turkeyed off Xanax by my GP. It would take 3.5 months before I could get into see a psychiatrist and even then they tried to refer me to a drug and alcohol advisor and addiction centers which wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t an “addict” and to be considered one was an insult when I had been poly drugged from the age of 11 so my brain never learnt on it's own how to self soothe from a panic attack.
Coming off Xanax was the worst experience of my life, 3.5 months of vomiting, gut problems, akasthesia, constant terror and dread, depression, panic, racing thoughts, sweating and insomnia that caused me to be reinstated onto large doses of valium and took the rest of the year to balance my brain.
After years of experience with panic, challenges in life and experiencing trauma by 2025 I started tapering off the valium very very slowly under professional guidance. It’s now April 2026 and I’m officially 3.5 months free from benzodiazepines and still struggling but nowhere as bad as I once was. At 1.5 months off the benzos I decided to start tapering of seroquel XR and I’ve managed to cut my dose by two thirds of it's original dosage. I intend to get off the XR completely, then start on the antidepressants before coming off the seroquel IR and by that point I will be completely free from psych meds.
There is so much more to my story, I could probably write a book on it at this point. If I could share anything I wish was talked about more it would be histamine dumping when you’re in your first 3-6 months off benzos, I overlooked it as a rare problem originally and I’ve recently discovered it absolutely isn’t and the symptoms from that mimic panic disorders and withdrawal enough to believe your original symptoms have returned. The panic does leave and you do feel better again it just takes time and understanding of your nervous system.