Symptoms: Brain zaps, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, insomnia, depersonalization/derealization, tinnitus, severe anxiety/panic, GI disturbances
I was prescribed Zoloft and alprazolam at 18 for severe panic attacks. At the time, I trusted that this was the only way forward. What I didn’t understand was that those prescriptions would quietly shape the next 20 years of my life.
I’ve taken them every day since. Not because they truly fixed anything but because stopping feels impossible. Over time, instead of relief, I felt numbed. My emotions dulled, my thinking slowed. I struggle with memory, with clarity, with feeling like myself. It’s like I’ve been living behind a fog I can’t lift.
What’s hardest is wondering if things could have been different. No one really explored alternatives with me. No deeper conversations about therapy, lifestyle changes, or long-term risks. Just adjustments, refills, and continuation.
Now, decades later, I feel stuck between dependence and the fear of what happens if I try to stop. I’m not the same person I was, and I don’t feel fully present in my own life.
I wish I had been given more information, more options, and more support back then. Because this hasn’t felt like healing, it’s felt like slowly disappearing.