A polypharmacy Nightmare, Medical Gaslighting reality, to taking things to my own hands and using whatever resources I have to try and claim the 18 year old kid back.

The crisis began in 2022 – 2023, emerging from a period of high stress, significant weight loss (110kg), and high caffeine intake. The shift occurred over two days involving cough syrup the first dose caused a strange sense of being detached from the body, while the second triggered a state of episodic Depersonalization/Derealization (DPDR). By August – December 2023, a prescription of Flupentixol/Melitracen was introduced. Following medical advice to simply quit the medication, a catastrophic cold-turkey withdrawal ensued, leading to thirty days of total insomnia and a state of constant, extreme DPDR.

From December 2023 – Mid-2024, to manage the fallout of the withdrawal through a “cocktail” of Clonazepam, Amitriptyline, and Chlordiazepoxide, which resulted in a “chemical coma” sleep and a sharp decline in cognitive function and memory. When Amitriptyline was later swapped for Trifluoperazine and the Clonazepam dose was increased to 2mg, the reaction was immediate and severe. Profound memory loss set in, significant weight gain followed, and the state of health became so fragile that life became entirely room-bound.

A period of stabilization arrived between June 2024 - March 2025. After quitting Trifluoperazine and holding Clonazepam at 1.5mg for six months, a successful water micro-taper brought the dosage down to 1.24mg. During this window, full functionality returned (at least that’s what I think), driving was possible, sleep was partially restorative, and even caffeine was tolerated again. The weight gained from previous medications was entirely lost.

However, a new and terrifying system crash occurred in April – May 2025. A single dose of a PPI followed by another PPI and an anticholinergic triggered a collapse characterized by vomiting and orthostatic hypotension. Crucially, this crash rendered the body immediately and profoundly intolerant to caffeine; as a result, a daily caffeine habit had to be quit abruptly (cold-turkey), which introduced a massive new strain to the nervous system. Following this, the 1.24mg of Clonazepam became paradoxical, causing cycles of euphoria and rage, pinpoint pupils, and a feeling of overdose. Only then did the physical symptoms spiral into 10/10 tinnitus, restless legs, severe akathisia, and movement disorders, including dyskinesia, dystonia, and catatonia, TMJ issues (literally everything happened), alongside profound amnesia.

By June – July 2025, a hospital admission for weakness and diarrhea led to a rapid one-week taper from 1.24mg down to 0mg, followed by an immediate reinstatement to 1mg upon discharge. This created a new baseline where movement issues were replaced by a “numb/anesthesia” state. This was characterized by “ultimate amnesia”—where only factual recall remained—a complete disconnection from bodily signals like taste and smell, and a sense of living on autopilot. Through August – October 2025, this state of profound anesthesia persisted. The Numbness Dissociative amnesia state only deepened (throughout this time period I was taking thiamine pills and B vitamins daily until I came back home from an abroad trip in november then I quit the vitamins)

November 2025 The baseline throughout this month was marked by minute-by-minute amnesia and “frozen” biological functions in the gut and urinary system, and everywhere. Between the months, a strict diet was implemented. Suddenly, reintroducing thiamine pills triggered a panic attack, followed by an emotional release, followed by “dumping” symptoms. The month remained a cycle of frozen functions versus agitation, with rare neurological breakthroughs like a visual memory flash and colorless recall, even as the general baseline remained a blank stare.

December 2025 Early in the month, “insight blindness” and a sensory void became the norm. During the month, an emergency hospital visit for respiratory distress resulted in treatment with steroids and oxygen, leaving behind eye pressure and dysphoria. Nightly medications caused paradoxical reactions ranging from euphoria to coma-like states. Toward the end of the month, the baseline shifted to include cognitive fragmentation. The lack of insight became intense, and sleep hovered at a poor 3-6 hours, occasionally punctuated by brief colorless memories following flares of GI issues.

January 2026 The new year brought an active micro-taper, with the Clonazepam dose being reduced incrementally throughout the month. This period saw the formal codification of intense DPDR, alongside symptoms of jamais vu, feeling drunk, and foreign thinking. After stressors spiked symptoms to a 9.5/10, the medication became fully stimulatory some nights. Throughout the rest of the month, as the dose was aggressively lowered, the medication began causing insatiable hunger, and by this time gained a lot of weight. In January, I tried colostrum supplement and probiotics until I quit all February 2026 The month began with a continued aggressive taper, dropping the dosage further as the weeks progressed. During the month, “Personality Change” was formally added to a baseline dominated by interoceptive dissociation and amnesia. A dose reduction triggered an immediate panic attack following the suspension, after which sleep crashed to only two hours and cognitive symptoms like “altered thinking” and a “loss of social filter” were grafted onto the daily experience. As the taper continued, GI distress flared, and a distressing new physical symptom emerged: overwhelming urges to move the face, lips, legs, and hands as the medication continues to leave the system.

March 2026 from March 15 through March 24, the baseline settled into a highly rigid and repetitive pattern. Cognitive and sensory symptoms remained locked at a severely elevated 9.0/10, reflecting the persistence of the profound amnesia, DPDR, and sensory void established earlier in the year. In contrast, physical symptoms were consistently logged at a lower, stable baseline of 3.0/10. A strict, unchanging daily structure was maintained throughout this period. Normal food intake occurred regularly in the early afternoon and late evening, followed by a nightly dose of Clonazepam consistently taken just before midnight. Sleep remained fractured and non-restorative, with morning logs indicating approximately 4 to 5 hours of low-quality sleep, though minor tracking anomalies appeared in the data as the week progressed.